Few things are quite as frustrating as understanding the need to prepare physically for Earth changes but the people you care about most refuse to acknowledge these events. Probably the number two problem Stan and I are asked about the most is “how do I talk to someone who doesn’t believe?”
How can people deal with fear spawned by Earth changes and numerous disaster scenarios if they aren’t prepared spiritually, mentally and physically?
Spiritual preparation we will leave to you as it is the most important and personal aspect. For many folks, the only way to ease this fear is to have tangible, physical goods they know they can fall back on. It makes it more difficult when one person feels the urge to prepare, but their mate doesn’t believe there’s a problem or won’t face it. Many, many people have written asking how they can approach their spouse/friend/family/pastor to wake them up. The following are broad suggestions, but something for you to consider using. Take what will work for you and alter anything you wish. You are in a unique situation so you’ll be the best judge how to tackle this problem.
Physical preparation is best accomplished with agreement of your family or untold strife will result.
How do you decide how family $$ will be spent?
Will you put it in the retirement account or will you put it toward food reserves?
Will you take that vacation or invest those $$ in camping equipment?
How much are you willing to invest in storable goods and emergency supplies?
Before you can even get to this point, unless you live in a home where Joe spends “his” money his way and Jane spends “her” bucks her way, some type of agreement must be reached. In order to reach agreement, you first must have the freedom to discuss these topics. That’s the question we hear most from you ranking right up there with “where is safe”: “my husband/wife/mother/brother thinks it’s all BS, what can I do?
These suggestions will be just that – suggestions.
First, always pray for help and wisdom before you open your mouth. Ask for guidance.
Second, you have to assess the personality of the person you want to talk with.
*Are they afraid?
*What gets their attention?
*Do they operate from logic and statistics?
*Do they believe in God and End Times?
*Can you see through what they are saying to what they really mean? Many times what comes
out of their mouth is different from voicing their real fears.
* How much can you tell them to impress the severity of the situation yet not force their heads
back into the sand?
*Does “planting a seed or small bite-fulls” work best or does “full bore, no holds barred, blast
them with everything you got” work best?
*Think back to past important discussions and remember what worked best then.
Third, develop a plan of action. Before we get a heapy-wad of e-mails blasting us for gross over-generalizations, we’re already copping to this. Generally speaking, men operate from a viewpoint of logic and statistics. If the person you want to talk with is this type person, the last thing you want to do is go into the conversation unarmed and/or hysterical. As soon as hubby gets home from work, screaming “Steve! Steve! We’re not going to have any food when we get hit with an 8.0 earthquake next week!!! What are we going to do???!!!” is not going to cut it. If you want to get a logical person’s attention, approach him/her from that standpoint. This means you’re going to have to do some homework.
If the person is tweaked by science, use the same logical/statistical approach. Outline how weather is changing; talk about the instability of the sun that CMEs are up over 400% just from last year, the new spectral rays being emitted as of 1991; more 6.0+ earthquakes occurring each decade (per USGS); how new diseases are emerging; animals are mutating at an unprecedented rate; how weather is becoming increasingly violent; possible pole shifts due to a variety of reasons, etc. This approach is definitely going to require research, but your success depends on how much research time you’re willing to invest. You, in effect, will have to become the expert.
If the person is religious and you’re well-versed in the Bible, take a position of Bible prophecy being fulfilled daily. For helps on this, there are many prophecy sites available. We have numerous ones in the Preparedness Links listed under God and Inspiration and many more waiting to be uploaded. There are specific ones addressing just this subject. Additionally, by running a search on the Net for Bible prophecy, you’ll come up with enough websites to choke a horse.
Fourth, pick a good time for talking.
Women: do not pounce on your husband the minute he gets home! If you’ve ever read John Gray’s Women Are From Venus, Men Are From Mars you know most guys need some space, some wind down time after work. Increasingly this is true of women in the workplace. For many years, I managed one business of my former spouse. After problem solving all day, the last thing you want to hear upon arriving home is more of same.
Men: don’t try to get your wife’s attention when is she is up to her eyeballs making dinner, getting ready for work outside the home, planning “do” lists or during household jobs. Wait till you have your partner’s full attention and make sure they aren’t itching to watch the much anticipated football game or go ona shopping trip. Be considerate and smart.
Fifth, show time!:
1. Tell this person you would like to discuss something very important to you. Do they have time?
2. Ask them to listen with an open mind.
3. The approach should be non-accusatory, nonjudgmental and as forthright as you can make it.
4. Present your information in as logical, straightforward manner as possible.
5. Anticipate difficult questions. (My former spouse, when trying to talk to him about this stuff, wanted to
know when the stock market crash and big earthquakes were going to strike specifically) These are
hard questions. Answer honestly that you don’t know but statistically X,Y, Z show this will happen. So be
prepared. Anticipate difficult questions.
6. At all costs, avoid an argument. No whining and no statements like “But you NEVER listen!”
7. If your research is lengthy and your partner is showing boredom or restlessness, don’t give that person
more than they can digest in one sitting.
8. Make eye contact often so you know they are “with” you.
9. Ask if they have questions. This is your chance to be an “expert”. If your partner shows signs of receptivity,
suggestion further research together.
10. Thank them for listening with an open mind. Praise and appreciation does wonders. If you need to double-
back later to finish up, at least the person knows you value their time.
1. Should I keep trying to talk to friends and family?
Only you can answer this. Being a hardheaded German/Irish/French woman, it’s not in my nature to ever give up; never quit. I might change strategy, but as long as we are breathing we have a chance to make a difference. However, there is a time when you turn a situation over to God and let him carry “it” the rest of the way.
2. How do I respond to “I’m a Christian; God will take care of us.”
You may have other, better insight as to what to say, but in both Matthew 24:13 and Mark 13:13 we are told to “endure to the end” and it’s a lot nicer to “endure” with some provisions. That could be a while and it will be a little easier with supplies than without, plus there will undoubtedly be others knocking on your door because they haven’t prepared. Additionally, I never read a passage where God was impressed by slackers.
Scriptural proof is in 1TH 5:1 that we are to be aware of the “times and seasons”. To prepare is supported by the following KJV scripture:
Proverbs 18:15The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge.
Proverbs 6:6-11Go to the ant, thou sluggard; consider her ways, and be wise:
7 Which having no guide, overseer, or ruler,
8 Provideth her meat in the summer, and gathereth her food in the harvest.
9 How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?
10 Yet a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep:
11 So shall thy poverty come as one that travelleth, and thy want as an armed man. (KJV)
Proverbs 12:23A prudent man concealeth knowledge: but the heart of fools proclaimeth foolishness.
Proverbs 13:22-25A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just.
23 Much food [is in] the tillage of the poor: but there is that is destroyed for want of judgment.
24 He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.
25 The righteous eateth to the satisfying of his soul: but the belly of the wicked shall want.
Proverbs 14:15-21The simple believeth every word: but the prudent man looketh well to his going.
16 A wise man feareth, and departeth from evil: but the fool rageth, and is confident.
17 He that is soon angry dealeth foolishly: and a man of wicked devices is hated.
18 The simple inherit folly: but the prudent are crowned with knowledge.
19 The evil bow before the good; and the wicked at the gates of the righteous.
20 The poor is hated even of his own neighbour: but the rich [hath] many friends.
21 He that despiseth his neighbour sinneth: but he that hath mercy on the poor, happy is he.
Proverbs 22:3A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: but the simple pass on, and are punished.
3. What if after this talk they still won’t listen?
You’ve done what you can. If you’ve made several attempts only to be met with a loud NO!, then give it a rest, maybe permanently. Your call. However, if you’re both stubborn and determined, consider putting things aside yourself, even if it means finding a way to earn a few extra $$ to accomplish this. This is not saying your partner will never come around and by going ahead with prep plans, you’ll be that much better prepared.
Possibly you know a friend that could also sit in on the discussion. Sad but true, sometimes a person can “hear” a message better from a person other than their spouse or immediate family.
4. Should I keep trying to talk to my neighbors and friends?
Only you can determine this. Stan and I have been doing this so long, it just comes naturally. Our theory still holds – the more people who have supplies and are prepared, the less likely they’re going to want yours! Conversation also affords you opportunity to build community in your neighborhood and within your extended family. It will definitely be easier to cope on a physical and mental level to have support with more folks to ease the work load if we revert to “less civilized” levels even for a short time. The ultimate decision to continue or start sharing this information is yours.
5. What if the person I need to talk to is our pastor? What if he doesn’t believe we need to prepare?
Pastors are people too. Many of us forget that. They can be subject to denial and fears like everyone else. If you already know how the pastor feels and it is not a supportive/investigative role on these issues, I would suggest you contact several other members to form a moderate-sized, not intimidating group, and talk to the pastor. Be respectful of his time; set up an appointment. The point of having a small group is not to threaten, but to indicate interest in these matters (whether it’s Bible prophecy, Earth changes or whatever) is not isolated.
Churches are supposed to help us, guide us and in the best scenarios, lead us to viable solutions in every day life as well as in unusual circumstances. But who is the church? The people, of course! If your church or your pastor is not willing to look at these issues and leaves you spiritually unsupported, perhaps it is time to find a new group with whom to fellowship.
Approach the pastor similarly as in “Fifth, show time!” above. If he still expresses no desire or interest to lead and support in these areas, ask why this is so. Do not settle for “squirt out” answers. These are certainly times in which “canned” responses will not suffice and prayerful answers are imperative. Ask for specifics and press gently till you get a satisfying answer. You can point out preparation is something the entire congregation could participate in bringing everyone closer together, building community.
Many people dropped out of churchgoing two decades ago because it wasn’t “relevant”. Here’s their opportunity not only to be “relevant” but to lead their flocks in a very tangible, much needed way.
We are encouraged by the number of pastors that ARE leading their congregations through this potential time bomb and have set new community standards for contingency planning. Other ministers are meeting with town council managers and instituting excellent programs. Let us hope yours is one of these. If not, perhaps it is time to look for other fellowship.
Good luck in your discussions and decisions,
Holly and Stan Deyo
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